Over the past three months, Joshua has been filled with so much growth and continues to be a place of continued growth daily. Lately, in Old Testament class we learned about laments in the Poetic books, and the importance of lamenting to God. Going to God with our hurts and frustrations, isn’t a bad thing. In fact, he already knows about them, so choosing to keep them to ourselves only causes us to feel increasingly resentful. Here is a recent lament that I wrote and shared in class that I think could be helpful in the up-and-down seasons of life as a prayer to El Roi (אֵל רֳאִי), the God who sees:
Lord, I am but a lost sheep
I cannot see where I am going, nor know of what I may be doing
What I need is a shepherd
Yet there I go
Run off the narrow path and into the forbidden abyss
And I still wonder where is the overflow of your presence?
I go and drink from streams that seem like river water, but are actually seas of salt
I am so dehydrated, Abba
Why do I drink from the well of deceit
An oasis it is, leaving me so barren and dry
When can I taste true living water?
All I know is manufactured blessings coming from the idol-factory of my heart.
You are right here, but where are you I still ask all the same?
I search for your blessings but not your Spirit
I desperately crave your love, but seek everything but that
I hold much desperation from the bright and beautiful fabrications of the world
thus are such everything to me and yet mean nothing in the grand scheme in the course of all eternity
Only you matter to me
Yet why must I run and why must I hide?
Still, your grace abounds
A child can try to hide from his dad for only so long, before he is found
Father, there you are.
When I look up, I see your face
When I look to the rock in which I stand on I realize it’s you
When I search within, I find your Holy Spirit
You’re on the ground, you’re in the sky, you’re all around
You are everywhere
I cannot possibly escape from you
I can try, but I will always be found
There you are my banner, firm foundation, secret helper, you are my father and favorite friend
I act aimless like I can’t see
In all reality, you give me the eyes to see and the strength to believe
Standing in the outermost part of your courts, I know that you hold a special place for me
A heavenly dwelling for all of eternity to see
May I sharpen my eyes to the skies, and remember where my heart lies
Grasping that faith is not mine to give, but yours to bring and sustain
And all I have to do is cross my legs and sit at your feet
my life is in the hands of the heavenly man, the king of all kings, the God of everything
Yahweh, I am all yours and not in any way mine.
-Aaron (Current Student)