Overall, my break was pretty good, but it certainly wasn’t without its ups and downs. I had
visited a lot with family and friends, including Joshua’s siblings, who lived nearby. Spending time
at home during the holiday season is always a sweet thing when you’ve been away from home
for a while. Now, what was difficult was not being as disciplined in the routine of daily devotion,
prayer, and adherence to the fast.
While going back home is awesome, it also presents opportunities that wouldn’t be
as easily accessible as they are here at the building. Such as falling back into
old sins and patterns of a very old and somewhat foreign way of living.
I experienced what felt like a disconnect from God, as I wasn’t as presently inviting him into my
life as I did during my time “up the hill”. I had thought that I would have been more prepared than
Thanksgiving break, when I found myself in a very similar position. And I thought I would have
prepared more, to treat this break as a peek into what life post-Joshua would look like.
But every day, at night in my bed, I had felt like I was dying inside. I wasn’t taking care of the very
thing I ought to be. And that is my personal and very real relationship with our Father in Heaven,
his Son, and the Spirit that resides within me. I think that preparation is good, but it is almost no
good if, when presented with a situation of whether to do something that will either bring me
closer to God or further away, that I fail. What was all that preparation for?
This brings up a couple of points at which I will briefly explain in order not to drag this blog on too long. First,
preparation is not a bad thing, but something that actually needs to be done. To prepare for
anything, especially the fight against sin, there needs to be practice through spiritual disciplines
to bring us closer to God. And second, when preparation proves its fruitfulness, it is determined
by whether or not it’s done by your own strength or God’s power. If you try and do it on your
own, you will more likely than not fail. But by inviting God into your fight and then, when victory
is proclaimed, giving the glory right back to God, that will prove whether or not your preparation
was worth it.
All in all, I am learning to invite God into my life as more than just my savior, but as
a Father and a friend who will teach me the way and give me the strength to fight the battle
against sin, a battle that I know is already won in Christ Jesus.
As I go into this first week back here at the building, I am trying my best not to take for granted the time
I am being given to prepare for when this program eventually comes to an end. I hope to write again,
and share of good news and how God has been moving in my life.
Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ
Sincerely,
Levi (Current Student)