Is It Worth It?

September 12th, 2026 — around 11:00 AM

I find myself standing in front of this lodge.
Encapsulated by its beauty and the legacy that this building has long been known for.
Bearing the weight of my struggles on my shoulders.
Coming into this place with the intent of knowing God, seeking help, and letting go.

Letting go.
Letting go of your struggles.
Letting go of your worries.
Letting go of your problems.

That’s what this place is full of.
Full of people intentionally wanting to know more about their Father, seeking help, and letting go.
What a blessing it is to be surrounded by people who have the same intent.

All of what has happened, and all of what is happening, is such a blessing. And each and every one of us don’t deserve to be here.
We are unworthy of this place. We are unworthy of waking up to these mountains and trees that leave us in awe of God’s creation. We are unworthy of being under the roof of this building, made from materials that God created. We are even unworthy of walking side by side with our Creator.
But despite our unworthiness, God looks at us with love and says, “You are worth it.”

“God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” — Romans 5:8

That’s the beauty of being in this place.
Even though we’re letting go of social media, letting go of further dating relationships, letting go of prerecorded music and videos, and setting aside the things that would normally distract us, we will never gain favor or worthiness from God by simply presenting Him with more and more.
Instead, we are called to present Him with ALL that we have.
The good and the bad.
The highs and the lows.
The ups and the downs.
That’s all He ever asks of us.
Because God has already placed His favor upon us. His love for us was never determined by how pretty we could paint a picture, but by simply presenting Him with the picture altogether.

Being away from home has been hard for a lot of us.
Some are struggling less than others, and some are struggling a bit more.
As for me, I’d categorize myself as neither.
I’m somewhere in the middle.
(No offense to my family and friends back home reading this.)
I miss my friends and family at times, but other times, I see my friends and family through the people who are here.

Constantly, I am reminded of the things I am missing out on back home.

Family gatherings.
People’s birthdays.
Events going on.
Youth group every Wednesday.
Church every Sunday.

These are things I have personally had a hard time missing out on.
But God’s love for us brings us to a place we can call home.

This is home.

“Standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel.” — Philippians 1:27

Not the building itself, but the people I am around, bound together by the Spirit.
I’m reminded every single day that I am here for a purpose, with a purpose, and made for a purpose.
And that is to love God and love others.
And if you’re reading this as a friend or as a family member of someone attending Joshua right now, I’d assure you that your kid, friend, nephew, niece, or whomever he or she may be to you, is in good hands. Being formed into God’s image-bearers.

A book in the Bible that I’ve personally been meditating on is the book of Philippians.
( we also have the blessed opportunity to memorize this entire book by heart throughout these next 9 months )

For those who don’t know, Philippians is a letter written by Paul to the church in Philippi.
This book is widely considered to be one of the most joyful books in the Bible, despite the circumstances Paul finds himself in.

He’s in prison.
But he is joyful.

How can someone be in such a circumstance and yet be so joyful?
That’s something I began to ask myself.

Is my joy coming from my circumstances, or is it coming from my Heavenly Father?

And that’s something I had to reflect upon.
If you’ve ever gotten the chance to come to Hume or visit the Joshua building, one thing you’d notice is how joyful everyone is.
You drive past a Hume-labeled car and see someone wave 9/10 times.
You walk past someone wearing a Hume staff shirt, and they’ll smile at you 9/10 times.
You sit down for lunch, and someone will willingly want to get to know you 9/10 times.
Then you go home and ask yourself,

Why can’t it be like this everywhere?

For those who think our joy comes from being in this place, you’d be wrong.
Our joy comes from the Lord.
In this place, we want to make God known. And so, if anyone gets the chance to set foot on this 365-acre property, Christ will be proclaimed.
And in that, we rejoice.

“Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice.” — Philippians 1:18

When you look at Paul in the book of Philippians, you see that his joy comes from the Lord. In being able to serve Him and make Him known, Paul finds joy.
Now, I’m not saying that Joshua or Hume is prison.
Quite the opposite, actually.
But suffering is inevitable, even in places like this.
And being here has taught me that suffering can be a gift, and that suffering for the sake of Jesus is a great privilege. 
So I will be all the more joyful every single day that God has given me another opportunity to live for Him. 
“You should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake.” — Philippians 1:29

I wouldn’t want to suffer for anyone else.

To get more into detail about what’s been going on:
Simple answer?
A LOT.
A more in-depth answer?
A LOT MORE.

You go down the men’s hall, fourth door on the left. You come across a little dinosaur rug sitting in front of it.
Room 107.

Emmanuil Lyakh
————————
Jhabie Casabay

That’s me!
Jhabie Casabay!
One of the forty-seven students here at Joshua.

For those who have loved ones here who are terrible communicators or amazing communicators, you may be wondering:

What have we been up to?

Well…

The first day of being here, the guys’ community was able to gather together in one room, worship together, and hear testimonies from a few guys who were able to share.
That kind of set the tone for these next nine months.
Being able to open up to a bunch of strangers — guys we’ve never met before, with no opinions formed about one another and no background knowledge of each other — there’s no doubt in my mind that this was appointed by God.

We’ve had spontaneous worship nights between the brothers and sisters of this community. (Brothers and sisters is what we refer to as the guys and girls who are students in this building.)
Being able to openly worship and have people randomly join in, starting with three people and somehow ending with all forty-seven of us in one room, worshipping and praising God through our voices, guitars, cajons, and sometimes pianos.

Camping all together.
Having thirty minutes to pack for a three-day camping trip that God was able to use to already transform lives and change perspectives.
Sitting in silence with God for four hours in the middle of the woods.
Learning to ask for help because that’s one of the reasons we came into Joshua.

Working together during weekend jobs like the High Adventure ropes course, the boathouse, accommodations, grounds, or kitchen for some of us.
Being able to serve the community well while also paying off SOME tuition.

Some of us going down the mountain to stop at Trader Joe’s and stockpile on snacks, taking a break to eat food that isn’t Sysco-branded.
(We eat very, very good by the way.)
Intentionally praying to God to help us encounter and boldly pray for those down the mountain, while having meaningful conversations with those you came with and those you meet along the way.

Sitting around the couches at 7:00 AM before breakfast, having small, sometimes meaningful, sometimes funny, sometimes peaceful, sometimes crazy conversations.

Swing dancing after speaker nights.
Learning new moves.
Trying out things we’ve never done before.
Bonding over trying something new or learning from someone else.

Hearing animal noises from the other side of the building, whether it was a dog, a cat, a mountain lion, a monkey, or a seagull (it’s just the guys).

Going upstairs to the library to maybe get some homework done, only to see all six computers being used to shop on Amazon or Depop.

Walking throughout the building and seeing what everyone is doing.

Some playing Battleship.
Some playing Chess.
Some playing Apples to Apples.
Some playing Spoons.

Competitive ping-pong games in the dining hall, waiting thirty minutes to play because you’ve got a line of five people who called next.

Celebrating birthdays by gifting handwritten notes and singing “Happy Birthday” really loud during lunchtime.

Doucing our food in Cholula hot sauce because IT IS THAT GOOD.

Having the opportunity to FaceTime our parents when we have Wi-Fi down at camp, and having them meet every single one of our friends who happen to be with us at the moment.
Putting them in an awkward situation where they have to say hi to everyone while simultaneously never remembering anyone’s names.

Sacking it up by playing silent hacky sack after quiet time at 10:00 PM because apparently none of us want to get 8.5 hours of sleep.

What a year these couple of weeks have been.

Again, for those parents wondering how their kids have been doing, or to those uncles and aunts wondering how they’re nieces/nephews have been doing, or even to those friends wondering how their friend is doing.
I’d say we are doing pretty alright!

All I know is that…

If this program ended today,
It would have all been worth it.

I love you all, and Jesus loves you even more! – Jhabie Casabay (Current Student)